Q) John, on your website I found the
page where you talk about a
person's "acceptance level". What do you mean by that? -Jay
Our acceptance level
is a part of our internal makeup
that determines what we believe we can have in our lives... be that
more success, more money, more love, etc. But sometimes life can get
complicated, and we wonder what's stopping us from reaching our dreams.
the time this has little to do with what our talent or our
environment, but more to do with what we've bought to be true about
ourselves. Do we deserve abundance, a great relationship, a rewarding
career, etc? Connected to acceptance is the ability to receive, which
is hard for some people. Receiving money. Receiving compliments.
Receiving love. Receiving forgiveness.
We have to be willing to receive more,
otherwise we won't. This can be a sticky issue when it comes to money.
Some religions frown on greed to such an extent that people expand that
out to mean "Don't receive too much money". And then they don't. The
truth is, there is enough for everybody to receive abundantly. We
haven't gotten that yet because some people on our planet have been
using money to make bombs instead of developing positive business and
Unexpected plus: One
surprising thing that occurs with an increase in one's acceptance level
is that when we increase it in one area, other areas just start
unfolding... often in unexpected ways. Recently I increased my
acceptance level, and moved to a new business location. Since then, my
web site business has increased noticeably. It interesting, because my
website doesn't care where I work.
What to know: We
have free will, and ultimately, our
thoughts, words, and deeds create what we have. How we are being
in our life makes the difference. If we want to have better guitar
chops, we must *be* a person who is willing to practice and improve. If
we want better sound out of our home studios, we must *be* the kind of
engineer who listens closely and spends the time trying new things. To
have a better love life, we can *be* honest, caring, a good listener, a
being a victim in life won't cause magnificence to flow to us.
Being "at choice" enables us to steer our course with purpose and
dignity. We are always at choice. When we choose unwisely, we can
always re-choose. We can choose how we frame our circumstances and
conditions by accepting our selves in greater ways.
Q) If I am capable of super success in the
industry, but my acceptance level is low, is it true that I won't make
millions because of self-sabotage? -Jay
certainly could make millions, but if you have
other factors going on in your psychological makeup, you could indeed
lose it, and then be right back at whatever your level of acceptance
was. But this concept isn't just about money. You could be a
millionaire and go through 5 divorces before you were at a place of
not always about self esteem either. Many famous (and wealthy)
stars have low self esteem which has been a part of what drove them to
success, but they also may have battled addictions, they may have
abused people and things, won and lost love, you name it. Sometimes we
learn heavy lessons before we figure out what's really worthwhile in
people who have peace and contentment in their lives tend to be
giving, caring, supportive of the success of others, and they have a
favorite charity or cause that they give *time* to so that the world
becomes a better place. So often their spiritual path brings them the
rewards that their financial path only sets the stage for. So I would
invite you to continue to seek reward in all areas, not just financial.
Madonna and many other rock stars
often did not get where they are by integrity, compassion and caring.
does that make it right? Does that make it ok for all of us to
ignore higher ideals? Personally, I steer my own ship, regardless of
the behaviors of rock stars. And.... I like myself. I have peace about
how I affect others.
a personal note, I think Madonna's performance on "Live To Tell"
relays a great deal of compassion and caring. There is soul in that
woman. How she does on integrity, I couldn't tell you. Um, but if you
use Phil Collins as an example, I would say that his enormous success
*is* connected to his level of compassion, integrity and caring. His
contributions to the cause of the homeless is well known.
Big Key: If you do it all
from a place of "what will I get", it won't happen in the most pleasing
way possible. We have to remember that the "getting" will take care of
itself if the "giving" is the focus. So often musicians are so focused
on what they want to get, that they don't put enough attention into
what it is they are giving. Like the artist that wants to get a lot of
sex by impressing the other gender via their stage show. They have
forgotten that the other gender in the audience buys cds too! When an
entertainer remembers to entertain and capture the *entire* audience,
their on-site cd sales nearly double.
What to know: When we
remember that the wealth we get is in direct proportion to the service
or product we give, it gives us more focus and purpose behind what we
do for people. It motivates us to be better so that we are giving more.
It makes us want to show up for practice on time, to get enough sleep
when we're on tour, to seek out quality management, quality
more money when we feel successful. But the catch is "How do
I feel more successful if I'm hurting for money?" I discuss that
further in my success series
for musicians, but for now, the first step is to accept that everything
is perfect just as it is. I know. How do we accept this when we're
struggling? The answer is simple.
struggles are a part of the process we use to get from point A to
point B to point C etc. My success in the studio business wouldn't have
happened if I didn't "struggle" with the manager of the rock band that
I was in. Our band lost $25,000 to this person, and it led to the
breakup of the band. I chose to move on to the studio business instead
of being in another group. So, here I am... the recipient of gold and
platinum records, and a 24 year history of working with respected
musicians and record companies.
likes to deal with personal or business disasters, but usually
years later we will see that there were benefits that arrived out of
the Synchronicity of it all. The key to creating a higher level of
satisfaction along the way is to start accepting the perfection of
everything as it is. This takes daily practice. It takes rethinking our
thinking. It takes being open to expanding what we perceive to be
correct and possible.
the way we exercise our muscle of acceptance, thereby
increasing our acceptance level. We have it when we do it, and we do it
when we think it. Our thoughts are always the
beginning point of what we create. The highest amount
satisfaction comes from using thoughts, words, and deeds that honor our
HIGHEST VISION OF WHO WE ARE. Bring compassion, caring, honor,
enthusiasm, vitality, integrity and more into what you do and the
rewards will far exceed what your talents alone will bring.
John's note: Jay (asking these questions)
has more questions and I respond.